Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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