I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
A+ Viking dick
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
