I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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