im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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