It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
