lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
