I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize