Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
