roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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