mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize