If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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