Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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