You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
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you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
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Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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