I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
