The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
