Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
