can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
