Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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