it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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