I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
