and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
