Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
