So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
