My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
