Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize