I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
