I feel great
I just peed on a car
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
i think my cat just said my name.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
