Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
