i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
