I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
