There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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