ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
