i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
