Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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