Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
