Betty ford says i'm here all night
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
