well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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