I accidentally had phone sex last night
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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