Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
