I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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