Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
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she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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