Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
