I wish I could punch you in the face.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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