Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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