Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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