my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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