she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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