"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
