1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
