Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It was like getting head from an anaconda
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize