I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
