speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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