Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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