bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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