So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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