So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
