just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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