Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
