i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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