highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That accounts for only three of the penises
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
