I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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