from now on my penis is your penis
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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