you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
