so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
