This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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