help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
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Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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