Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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