if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I want her autograph on my taint
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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