the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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